ARROW SCHOOL FOR MEN

PRACTICAL MAN TRAINING

Mission #8 - Rejection Journey by Drew Barker

(Emotional Strength)

Valley

  1. Grab your notebook and a pen.

  2. Take 15 minutes to think deeply about your experience of rejection.

  3. Which rejections can you recall from recent or past history? Use two or three words to capture a couple of your experiences.

    Imagine someone challenging your honor, denying your identity, and renouncing your worth as a person. Were the feelings similar?

    Now consider what the rejection says about the rejector: In their opinion, according to criteria they currently subscribe to, based on their own limited set of experiences, they predict the arrangement won’t work out. Doesn’t a rejection actually say a great deal more about the rejector than the rejected?

  4. Write at least a sentence about what the rejections you experienced said about the rejector’s opinions?

  5. Write three or more bullet points on how their opinion was likely shaped by their personal history and the circumstances at the time.

    For most people, the pain of a rejection far exceeds the learning that can take place, but it doesn’t need to be that way. Once understood as an opinion in a particular time and place, the experience can become less personal and an opportunity to dig into better understanding of what formed the opinion.

    What might you learn if you ask the rejector to have more insight into the other person’s perspective?

    • In cases where you seek something from someone else, could you learn what the conditions might need to be to secure a yes?

    • Or how you might be able to change your request to make it easier to agree to?

    • What if you took a collaborative stance instead of a defensive one, seeking to first understand?

    • If in the end, the rejection stands, you will likely gain real insight into how you could change the request, approach a different person, or alter the circumstances to be more successful.

  6. Write down three questions you could use when you face future rejections to better understand the situation.

  7. Finally, consider what we’ve discussed in light of the Gospel:

Galatians 1:10a ESV

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?

James 1:19 ESV

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

John 15:18 ESV

If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

1 Peter 2:4 ESV

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious,

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Isaiah 53:3 ESV

He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Jesus understands rejection, empathizes with us, and will never reject us. Jesus demonstrated how to keep the rejections of men in the right perspective, prioritizing the opinion of His Father over the opinions of men, even when it resulted in the ultimate rejection.

Mission #7 - How to find your Dream Wife

(Spiritual, Emotional, Physical Strength)

Wife

  1. Grab your notebook and pen.

  2. Imagine your dream wife. Consider her relationship with God, what she looks like, what her personality is like, what her interests are, what her relationship with her Dad is like, what kind of friends does she have, etc... I am borrowing this from Pastor Aaron Stern.

  3. Next, take the thoughts from Step 2 and write down a list of those things you desire most in a wife:

    • Heart after God
    • Athletic, fit and toned body
    • On the shorter side
    • Has fire in her eyes, intense
    • Playful, loves the outdoors
    • Adventurous
    • Organized
    • Will wait for me, and not mess around with other guys
    • Etc.
  4. Take your list and ask God consistently during the supplication portion of your quiet time for a wife like your list. I can promise you that as you bring this very important topic to Him, He will add, delete, and modify the list. In this surrender of your desires to Him, He is then enabled to lead in this area, and He is a much better matchmaker than ourselves.

  5. Now, figure out what type of man your dream wife wants to marry and become that man once again borrowed from Pastor Aaron Stern. Simple as that!

  6. So practically figure out a prescription of who you need to become to attract your dream wife. So write down a list of things you need to grow in to catch her attention and eventually her heart. For instance:

    • I need a heart after God
    • I need to get in shape myself
    • (You cannot really change your height so you get a pass on this one)
    • Be able to be intense, but maybe develop a more playful side to balance her intensity
    • Learn to play, and be active in the outdoors yourself (I met my wife on a church camping trip)
    • Go on adventures
    • Work on being more organized
    • I will wait for her, and not mess around with any other girls
  7. The great part is that now you can direct your energy and focus on becoming the man that will attract what you truly desire, instead of wasting it on chasing any random girl. It also becomes a blueprint for when you meet a potential candidate. Does this woman meet my criteria? Hopefully, your future wife is doing the same thing and is asking the same question, does this man meet my criteria?

Mission #6 - Develop a Self-Defense Plan

(Physical Strength)

  1. Grab your notebook and pen.

  2. Write down each scenario:

    • You accidentally bump into someone in a public place and they elevate the situation and want to fight you
    • Someone draws a gun on you at 25 feet away
    • Someone pulls out a knife and lunges at you from 5 feet away
    • Someone is about to throw a heavy object or broken beer bottle at you from 25 feet away?
  3. Think through what you would do in each scenario. Once you come up with a plan write the plan down in your notebook and then rehearse exactly what you would say and do. Then think through the same scenario if your wife or children were with you. This rehearsed visualization is what will enable your body and brain to act in a much faster and more coordinated manner and could possibly save your and your family's lives.

  4. If you have no idea of what to do to protect yourself and others I recommend one or more of the following:

    • Ask a friend who is law enforcement / military or did wrestling / boxing / martial arts to teach you some basic verbal and physical ways to deal with conflict (sometimes the best thing is to use words to defuse a situation).
    • Take a Self-Defense class
    • Take a Concealed-Carry class

Mission #5 - Believe God's truth about yourself

(Emotional Strength)

Zach's notebook

  1. Grab your notebook and pen.

  2. Copy BY HAND 3 verses

    • 2 Corinthians 5:17
    • Galatians 2:20
    • 2 Timothy 1:7
  3. Once you have written them all out, read them OUT LOUD and think about the truth of each verse and see how how it applies to you.

  4. Then choose to believe what those 3 verses say about you:

    • You are a new creation, the old is past the new has come
    • You have been crucified with Christ, I am loved, Jesus gave His life for me
    • God does not give us a spirit of fear, God has given us a spirit of power, love, and self-control (or sound mind, the mind of Christ)

Mission #4 - 15 Minute Daily Quiet Time

(Spiritual Strength)

Zach's notebook

  1. Grab your notebook, paper Bible, and a pen or pencil.

  2. Find a quiet location with as few distractions as possible (a closet, office, or porch all work).

  3. Ask God the Father to open your eyes to see Himself, His son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit through the work of the Holy Spirit through the Holy Bible.

  4. In your notebook write out the following:

    D (Date) - 16 June 2020

    R (Reading) - Proverbs 16 (I recommend starting with the Proverb of the day, 1st of the month (Proverbs 1), 2nd of the month (Proverbs 2), until you have gone through all of 31 chapters of Proverbs multiple times. Then find a new reading plan. I personally like the The Daily Bible

    M (Memorize) - Proverbs 3:1-12 (or whatever passage your are currently memorizing)

    J (Journal) - (Write out a verse that stood out to you from either Proverbs 16 or Proverbs 3:1-12. Write about how that verse affects your view of God or your view of yourself. Write a message to God about what you are thinking or feeling. Like a text message to a friend this is one way we communicate with the God of the Universe.)

  5. Next, is the praise, thanksgiving, and prayer time and I challenge you to write out the next section on the same page of the notebook but more importantly to talk to God OUT LOUD since there is amazing life and power in the spoken word. And our Father loves to hear out prayers.

    A (Adoration) - (Praise and exalt the name of God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit)

    C (Confession) - (Confess your sins to God)

    T (Thanksgiving) - (Read your list of 30 Thankful Things)

    S (Supplication) - (Ask God for what you need and for the needs of others)

Mission #3 - Basic Core Workout

(Physical Strength)

  1. Grab your notebook and a pen

  2. Buy a door frame pull-up bar and yoga mat (or you can use a thick bath towel). If you have access to a gym for all of this great but do not let traveling to a gym stop you.

  • Pull Ups - Max Set (as many as you can do, if you cannot do one have someone else hold your feet to assist)
  • Crunches - 30 (if you cannot do 30 do as many as you can)
  • Push Ups - 30 (if you cannot do 30 do as many as you can)
  • Crunches - 30 (if you cannot do 30 do as many as you can)
  • Pull Ups - Max Set
  1. Record how many pull-ups, crunches, push-ups you did

Mission #2 - Make / Recite List of 30 Thankful Things for 30 days

(Emotional Strength)

  1. Grab your notebook, journal, or yellow line tab of paper and a pen.

  2. Write out BY HAND 30 things you are thankful for.

    • Thank you God for saving me from my sins by your son Jesus Christ
    • Thank you God for giving me loving parents
    • Thank you God for my beautiful, fun, and understanding wife
    • ........
  3. Once you complete the list, read it OUT LOUD You do not have to be loud but as you speak each line of the list you are speaking truth and it is good for your spirit, emotions, and body.

  4. For 30 days repeat speaking the list OUT LOUD until you have developed a habit of thankfulness.

Mission #1 - Memorize God's word

(Spiritual Strength)

Notebook patent

  1. Copy BY HAND a passage (Proverbs 3:1-12 is a great one to start with) from the Bible onto a sturdy notepad. I like "Rite in the Rain" Item No. 946T for both the size and durability. This will help you keep all your passages together. The main thing is it needs to be small enough that you can keep it with you all day.

  2. Review the passage from the notebook when you wake up (ideally as part of your daily quiet time either in the morning or at night) and again as you are getting ready in the bathroom. Look for patterns in the passage.

  3. Take the notebook with you and review it when you are traveling to class or work. Know that usually the hardest part for you to memorize is the most likely the best part of the passage.

  4. Review it before you go to sleep and place it on your nightstand on top of your phone.

  5. If you get stuck try to adapt the passage to a song you already know. My wife teaches our kids all sorts of facts and passages with songs and motions.

  6. Once you have it move on to a new passage but every week review the old passages so you do not forget them.