ARROW SCHOOL FOR MEN

Naturally, most men grasp the concept that one of their roles as a man is to "Provide and Protect" in the physical realm. However, the physical aspect of being a human is sometimes easily dismissed. The truth is that we were created by God as physical beings and because of sin we need to physically provide and protect our families.

Five Ways to Provide Physically

1. Ask God for vision and direction

   Ask God where He wants to lead you. Ask God about what career to pursue. And based on His guidance and the wise counsel of people who love you come up with a plan of where you are going. A 5, 10, 15 year plan is great, but even a 6 month plan will work. When my wife first met me I told her I was going to serve in the military and then start a young men’s ministry. She saw the vision and because I had made it clear she knew what she was signing up for. And to this day she has been supportive of me starting this ministry. To provide means to look ahead to the future, to scope out what is about to occur and plan accordingly.

2. Be faithful to provide financially

   This one is simple but work hard to get and keep a job. And work hard to create or serve in that job.

3. Continually bless your wife and children with your physical touch

   Initiate consistent physical contact with your wife, not just when you want to be intimate. Hug you kids everyday, tease them as well! Similar to our words, our family needs lots of hugs, kisses, wrestling, rough housing, and other reassurances physically.

4. Workout and eat healthy

   Create a workout plan that you can keep, and ideally try to get the 2-3 men to workout with you. Accountability, competition, and challenge helps us push ourselves farther than we would naturally go. And when our kids get older they begin to see our example of hard work, and healthy life choices to get sleep and minimize junk food. The standard we set many times helps to form their norm and standard.

5. Take responsibility for all your physical possessions

   Adam was called to take care of the Garden of Eden even prior to the fall. When we care for things we show our family that things are not just disposable. In this age we throw so much away and are constantly “upgrading” our phones. But when we fix a broken car, or repair a favorite toy for our children they start to see God as a healer. The parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) teaches us that God entrusts us with physical possessions with the expectation we produce a harvest, an increase.

Five Ways to Protect Physically

1. The location of your “home” matters to your family

   Consider the crime rate, proximity to busy streets, and overall status of the neighborhood when deciding on what apartment, home, condo to buy or rent. Two of my brothers, when they were both single and in their 20’s, lived in a somewhat sketchy neighborhood in a major city with one being mugged for his cell phone and wallet. They both felt fine living there. But when my older brother married his wife he intentionally moved to another part of the city that had very little crime out of consideration for his wife’s safety and well being. In forming a force-field around your family, it is important to get to know your neighbors. As a man you should initiate a relationship with your neighbors and build a fence either metaphorically speaking or physically speaking around your home. Because when you wife and children feel safe they are free to grow and walk in their callings.

2. Have a family self defense plan

   Develop a plan of how you are going to defend your family should they ever be physically endangered. I recommend that every man learn some form of self defense: wrestling, boxing, martial arts, fire arms, and even better a combination of all these. By preparing now you will have the confidence to deal with any situation. I grew up wrestling and I have a predetermined “playbook” of what I am going to do in certain situations to defend my wife and children. I also actively work to ensure I do not place my family unnecessarily in situations where I will need to resort to physical action to protect them.

3. Guard your family’s time

   Build a family schedule and stick to it. Just like a budget, a schedule shows you how much time you are spending doing certain activities. You might realize that a sport, activity, or even job is ruling your life. I recommend prioritizing family meals as a time to talk, hear stories, and look at each other. Another benefit to family meals is that you will usually eat healthier as a result. It is very easy to trade away the best for a lot of “good”. The world naturally causes us to get busier and busier so that many families only sleep in the same house but do not really interact and grow together. You have to ACTIVELY guard your family's and your time or else it will be robbed from you.

4. Discipline your children

   Determine before ever having children that you are going to train them. You can put plastic inserts in your electrical outlets but even better is to TRAIN your child to not put their fingers in them. We have been duped by society to think that you cannot train a baby or child until they are 3 or 4 years of age. That is a flat out lie. I had trained my children to leave the stereo system alone, how to not grab for books when I read to them, and how to not stick their fingers in electrical sockets by 9 months old. I can explain more about this in a later article, but believe me it is possible. And the advantage is if you train them at 9 months it is much easier to guide them when they are 8, 13, or 18 years old. And one day they will even thank you for the physical, emotional, and spiritual discipline you provided. Discipline means that you care.

5. Vocally reassuring your wife and children

   It is not just enough for you to have a plan to physically defend your family. They need to hear from your mouth that you “will never let anyone harm them”. Speak with courage and confidence to demonstrate that you are not afraid of what is going on in the world. When you talk about the news do not just focus on the robberies, murders, and negative events of the world. Rather, ensure your focus is on those things that are life giving (Philippians 4:8) to help set the focus of your family. And when dealing with the hard realities of life remind them that God is on the throne and more importantly that you are not afraid. Your calm, collected tone and response enables them to relax.